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Things You Haven’t Done Yet

By News May 8, 2020 | 3:43 PM

 

You’ve caught up on all your shows. Those podcasts you’ve been saving are all listened to. You’ve tried more bread recipes than you can count. You’ve used up all the stationery in your home.

Now what?

Well, try these, I guess?

Walk backward through your house. Danger, mystery, and excitement!

Perfect the fitted sheet fold. You’ll be the new Laundry God.

Wipe down the inside of your refrigerator. Crumbs, spills, and maybe a new undiscovered organism.

Stand outside and see if you can replicate the birds you hear. You might make a new friend.

Recreate your favorite music video. Maybe don’t put it on the internet, though.

Arrange all your office supplies, or books, or toiletries on your kitchen table and counters. Make signs like “50% off”, “Buy One Get One”, “Locally Sourced”, etc. Now you can walk around and have a safe shopping experience! (Works best if you have other people in your home that can play an annoying fellow shopper or cashier.

Text all your friends and ask what their middle name is – refer to them only as their middle name until the pandemic subsides.

Click the Random Article button on Wikipedia. Enjoy the rabbit holes you’re about to go down.

Give play-by-play breakdowns of the people walking by your house. Send your demo reel to ESPN.

In the next conversation you have, spoken or written, in every other paragraph, speak only in alliteration. Perhaps people prefer positively poppy pronunciation.

 

That should be enough for a week.

Have some fun, stay healthy, and take care of each other, dear hearts.